


Morning Sunshine, some coffee?

by Jenmishsbxtch (Ziamln)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Barista Castiel (Supernatural), Bisexual Dean Winchester, Bottom Castiel (Supernatural), Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester Mutual Pining, Coffee Addict Dean Winchester, College | University Student Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Dean masks his pain with bad humour, Deanial, Depressed Dean Winchester, Emotionally Repressed Dean Winchester, Everyone is Dead, F/M, Gay Castiel (Supernatural), Gay Panic, Grumpy Dean Winchester, Heavily Caffinated themes, Hurt Dean Winchester, M/M, Mechanic Dean Winchester, Michael & Dean Winchester Friendship, Pansexual Crowley (Supernatural), References to Depression, Sexual Confusion, Top Dean Winchester, tragic past, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:21:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24397216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ziamln/pseuds/Jenmishsbxtch
Summary: Dean is a struggling mechanics student, Cas is a cute Barista at a coffee shop Dean goes to out of desperation, interesting things occur.*TW*
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 51
Kudos: 99





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Being as my other story is about to come to an end I thought I'd write something else for when its done, hope you enjoy!
> 
> Not the best writer but I hope this goes well...

‘You have got to be kidding me.’

Dean looked at the fluorescent sign stuck on the door of his favourite coffee shop - ‘Closed permanently’.  
Dean sighed dejectedly, his mood worsening significantly.  
He was running on fumes, he’d been awake for the past 45 hours, trying to, but failing miserably to study for his upcoming exams.

He lived in a quieter area of the town, and this was the only coffee shop around for miles.  
Somehow since Dean's last visit just a little under 48 hours ago, they'd closed up without warning. 

It was a betrayal like no other. 

He grumbled pulling out his phone, defeated, searching for the nearest coffee shop.  
2.5 miles away- he was not walking that far on no sleep. 

Still annoyed, he mulled over his options, yawning.  
It was a Tuesday and 5 am meaning all the grocery stores were shut for another hour and a half, even if they were open, their coffee was either overpriced and the cheap ones tasted like crap.

His studio flat was only a few minutes away so he decided to go and get his car, seemingly the only decent thing in his life right now.  
He unlocked his section of the shared garages, admiring his baby, his last memory of his family- the perks of being a mechanics student; he’d kept his dad’s old car, it held a lot of sentimental value- he’d worked on it in the garage in his little spare time, or when he couldn’t sleep, which had become pretty frequent after his family had died.  
He knew driving in his state probably wasn't sensible, he could go and sleep, but he knew if he slept now, he’d be out for the next 24 hours meaning he’d miss his shift at work and wouldn’t be able to make his rent which was due in 2 days and was too embarrassed to ask Bobby for an advance on his paycheck again.  
He wiped away the sleep from his tired eyes as the engine roared to life, checking google maps once again before he left and went to finally get his long-overdue coffee.

Dean had made two wrong left turns on the way there and was far from impressed. If he was aggravated before, this was something entirely worse.  
'Les Paradis.'  
That sealed it, Dean already hated this place but he needed his fix before he went stir crazy. 

Dean walked in, face like thunder as his burning eyes squinted up at the menu board.  
'Macchiato, Mochaccina, Gommosa, Café Con Hielo, Espresso Romano…' the list was endless, the words making Dean's already throbbing head spin more. 

"Hello sir, what can I get for you?"  
Dean didn't look up at the man at the register as he rubbed his eyes tiredly.  
The voice was far too chirpy for Dean’s liking.

"Do you have anything that resembles a black coffee and not pure douchebaggery?" Dean replied rudely to the man.  
He knew he was being rude but he was too frustrated to care. 

"We have black coffee, yes, I assume you'll want a large, double shot?" His voice seemingly less chipper.  
Dean nodded blearily, barely able to keep his eyes open. 

"$3.95 please."  
Dean pulled out a 5 dollar bill. 

"Keep the change," he mumbled.  
He wasn't rolling in money but figured the tip could help lessen the impact of his rude behaviour.

"Take a seat, sir, I'll bring your coffee in a few minutes."

Usually, Dean would take his coffee home but he couldn't wait that long so he took a seat trying to keep his wits about him. 

Cas couldn't decide whether he was annoyed or amused by the man. It was a little past 5 am and the dude looked like he was dead on his feet, so he had remained polite.  
He was young, younger than him at least, he supposed.  
Had any other customer been so rude to him, Cas would've given them what for, but he looked like he could use a break. That and he was so damn handsome, he couldn't fault him if he tried.  
"Here's your coffee sir." 

Dean didn't look at the man, simply grunting as the man put his coffee down.  
Dean rolled his eyes at the colourful cup the beverage was in and took a sip of coffee.  
He leaned back in his chair, closing his burning eyes, savouring the flavour. 

Perfect. 

A few sips later, Dean felt alive again. By the time he'd almost finished the coffee, which was by far, some of the best coffee he'd ever had, he began to feel guilty for having been so hostile towards the server. 

He finally looked up towards the counter, feeling even worse when he saw the gorgeous man behind the counter.  
Stunning electric cerulean eyes, sun-kissed skin, full dawn-tinted lips and perfect darkish locks, the same colour he liked his coffee. 

'Shit.'

He was an idiot.  
He wasn't much of a morning person at the best of times, but no coffee made him even worse, especially with no sleep.  
After he'd inhaled the rest of his coffee he went back up to the register, slightly more upbeat and energised. 

"Everything alright sir?"

"Uh, yeah, I uh wanted to uh apologise for being harsh. I'm not a morning person. Especially with no sleep and no coffee."

"It’s okay, surprisingly I've had worse. Can I get you anything else?"

"Nah I'm good thanks, that was good coffee. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Enchanting, his smile was astonishing. It made his cerulean orbs sparkle.  
"So uh, Cas-" Dean read his name tag, "just you here?"

"Yeah, I take the late shift between 11 pm and 6 am. I've not seen you around here before, are you new in town?"

"No, I live just on the outskirts of here, I'm a student, so cheap rent. My favourite coffee shop closed down and this was the nearest." Dean explained

"Oh, so you're not here out of choice then?" Cas looked a little dejected, Dean shrugged awkwardly, lightly regretful to have disappointed the man. 

"Well, I'll get going. See you tomorrow, this time out of choice, I guess- if I’m not flat-on-my-ass asleep that is."

"I look forward to seeing you again Sir."

"Its Dean, Dean Winchester and we both know that's a lie." Dean winked, heading for the door.  
Cas felt the heat rise in his cheeks at the simple wink, wanting to retaliate. 

"You sure about that?" Cas asked. 

Was he- Was he flirting? 

No, the tiredness was getting to Dean's head, after this shift he really needed some sleep. 

Dean smiled in response leaving. 

Maybe this place wasn't so bad after all?


	2. Chapter 2

When he got back to his apartment, after a shower he was like a new man, slightly jittery, but that was like second nature to him at this point.

“Mornin’ Bobby.” Dean greeted as he clocked in for his shift.

“I thought you were studying last night?” “I was.” “When did you sleep?” Bobby eyed him suspiciously, he knew Dean all too well, correcting his question, “Did you even sleep, boy?”

“No sir.” Dean didn't make eye contact with the older man. “How long?” Dean checked his watch, “49 hours.” “You idjit. Are you trying to kill me?”

“What? The lack of sleep is more likely to kill me than you Bobby, don't sweat it, I’m fine.”

“Fine my ass, you need to go home.”

“Bobby, I’m fine, I can work.”

“You won’t be fine when you accidentally hit those jittery limbs off something and almost take your head off under a bonnet boy!” Since his parents' passing, Bobby had taken care of Dean like a son, he appreciated it, but sometimes it was an absolute pain in the ass.

“Look, if its the money, I will pay you for coming in, just go home, I'd rather have you in one piece.”

“Fine. Thank you, Bobby.” Dean nodded, the man was too kind to him.

“You can thank me by getting some sleep and not killing yourself like this,” Bobby spoke as Dean walked to his car.

Dean stirred awake feeling groggy, reaching for his phone to check the time, it looked dark out as there was no light shining from around his curtains.

01:25 am

It wasn't until he looked again that he saw the day.

Friday.

SHIT.

His rent had been due yesterday and he’d missed a shift at work and two uni lectures.

He’d slept for over two days straight.

He burst out laughing until he remembered he had to pay his rent.

He unlocked his phone to 23 missed calls and 57 messages all work and uni-related much to his relief.

He went on his banking app to move around funds for his rent, surprised when he found $250 more than he had three days ago.

Bobby. The man was a saint.

He quickly transferred the $750 he owed for the month and got out of bed.

Still too tired to check his socials he went to the bathroom and freshened up.

He needed coffee.

01:30 am.

Coffee.

Cas.

All of a sudden he felt his heart skip a beat at the thought.

What the hell?

Must just be the thrill of getting his first coffee in two and a half days.

He shrugged it off, this time making sure he looked remotely human before leaving the flat.

He considered himself through tired eyes for a moment. Grey plaid shirt, layered over a black t-shirt and skinny deep blue jeans, ‘that should do it’ he thought running a hand through his hair before grabbing his keys and leaving.

‘Hey baby.’ he whispered to his car as it roared to life while he sped down the quiet road. He parked up on the empty street, the coffee place being the only establishment still open at this hour that wasn't a bar.

He calmed what he was passing off as ‘pre-coffee jitters’ before entering the cafe, not surprised when he found it empty.

Cas seemed startled when he heard the door chime, Dean didn't remember that being there last time.

“Hello, sir.” Cas greeted, a small smile on his face.

“Its Dean, hey Cas.”

“Hello, Dean.”

“Same as last time please.” Dean ordered much more politely than the last time.

“So, you’re a night owl then?” Cas tried to make conversation, still feeling flustered about the man having winked at him as a joke the other day.

“Yeah, mornings suck. Especially, early mornings... I take it you’re a night owl yourself?” Dean spoke, watching as Cas expertly switched from one device to another.

“Yup. You really must’ve really been ‘flat on your ass asleep’, huh?”

“Yeah, two whole days, hope I didn't keep you waiting too long.” Dean winked as Cas handed him his coffee.

Cas didn't know how to respond, feeling his face set alight as he blushed furiously at the simple act. Though he had been quite rude the other day, this well-rested night version of Dean was a delight. He also looked delightful.

Cas had to busy himself a few times to stop himself from drooling.

Dean had sat closer to the counter this time.

He watched Cas as he busied himself wiping dishes, making eye contact a few times throughout causing them both to look away from the sheer ~~intensity~~ awkwardness of it all.

“So, the bell? Is that new? I'm sure I would’ve remembered something that irritating the last time I came.” Dean started the conversation as he leisurely sipped on the final remains of his beverage, approaching the counter.

Cas chuckled at his bluntness, some would probably find it unseemly, but Cas found it oddly charming.

“It’s for night shifts only, we’ve had a few bothersome characters come in late at night so its good to know when someone walks in so you’re prepared.” Cas explained.

“Tell me, do you find me bothersome Cas?” He leaned in over the counter as he handed Cas the money.

“N-no, why would I?” Cas swallowed thickly, Dean could tell he was nervous and he liked it.

“In that case, I’ll be back to bother you tomorrow. Keep the change.” was all Dean said before going, leaving an air of mystery Cas found intriguing.


	3. Chapter 3

“You look like hell, and I would know.” Crowley said.

“Thanks, that's- helpful.” Dean rolled his eyes taking a seat.

He'd barely slept last night, the three-day sleep he'd had, had further ruined his sleep schedule- not that he had much of one, to begin with. He'd picked out the first clean clothes he'd seen that morning which consisted of black skinny jeans and a mustard flannel that he wasn't a fan of, but when he was up with 5 minutes until class at his university which was a 20-minute walk away, it would suffice.

“Dude I thought you died!” Michael said, clapping Dean on the shoulder taking the seat opposite.

“Not just yet, unfortunately.” Dean responded sipping the mediocre coffee he’d gotten for ‘lunch’ Michael and Crowley snuck a worried glance regarding his response changing the subject.

“Where were you?” Michael quizzed

“Sleeping.” Dean sipped on his coffee, he couldn't be bothered with the questions.

“For three whole days?” Crowley raised a brow, he knew Dean could sleep, but his previous record was only a day and a half, he'd outdone himself this time.

“Two and a half, yes.”

“Dude.” Michael exhaled, he worried about Dean a lot, “Man you’re lucky Bobby loves you or he’d fire your ass.”

“Don't I know it.”

“Well aren’t you just a regular chatty Kathy.” Crowley said.

Dean signalled to his coffee cup. “I’m tired.”

“Even after all that sleep?” Michael asked, Dean nodded his head in response. Talking was effort sometimes.

They knew all too well he was lying, but they didn't bug him, it wouldn't help.

“Are you coming to work tonight?” Michael changed the subject.

“Yeah, what time do you start?”

“Five, you?”

“Seven, definitely gonna need a coffee after that.”

“Don't you mean sleep?” Michael raised a brow

“Coffee, sleep, its the same thing.” At this point, Dean couldn't really tell the difference between the two.

“It’s really not.” Michael said, causing Dean to roll his eyes.

After his shift, Dean was in desperate need of sleep... Or what he liked to call liquid sleep. It had been a long shift, especially as no one had really talked much, probably owing to him not being in the mood for any socialization.

“G’night” He said to Bobby and Michael on his way out, ignoring the latter’s pleas to get actual sleep instead of a coffee.

It was 01:15 am, time for his coffee, he hadn't really taken time out -had a chance to go shopping, meaning he didn't get a chance to buy any coffee for his apartment, which meant, time to see Cas.

He checked his reflection in the car mirror making sure he was somewhat presentable. He opened up the first two buttons of his overalls, exposing a bit of his sweaty chest and ran a hand through his hair, tousling it slightly.

He looked decent, excusing a few grease stains and the marked overalls, maybe the look would give him an edge... or so he was hoping.

Cas looked up as the greased-up mechanic approached the counter. He gave the look a scan, and boy, was he was a fan. 

A big fan.

The dark grease on his face accentuated his bronze tan, further highlighting his stunning evergreen eyes.

Beautiful.

Much like his full kissable lips, slightly reddish from being chewed on, but plump and soft nonetheless. His tapered jawline and cheekbones were in a whole other category themselves. Enough to make Cas swoon every time he saw the man.

The look was taunting him, it was almost cruel for someone to look so hot whilst being greasy and sweaty. It was unfair.

It took a moment to get his words out.

“Hello, Dean.” He swallowed

“Hey, Cas. How ya doin’?” Dean greeted.

“Not bad thanks. D-did you just finish work?”

“Yeah. Long shift.”

“So you're a mechanic?”

“Yeah.”

~~_‘That's hot.’_ ~~

“That's cool.”

“You know what's even cooler?” Dean leaned in teasingly, pausing before continuing.

“A double shot, large black coffee,” Dean whispered, winking as he pulled back.

It took Cas a hot second to gather his thoughts as he stared blankly at the man, slightly aroused.

The heat of Dean being so close had messed with his head more than how gorgeous the man looked had.

“Uh, C-Coming right up. Take a seat.”

Dean was slightly confused about his inability to take his eyes off Cas, yeah, he was gorgeous but he'd seen pretty people before.

Michael was rather good looking, he had dusty blonde hair and sky blue eyes but he never found himself transfixed on the man.

Maybe that was it.

He'd never seen anyone as surreal in beauty as Cas.

He was almost, supernatural- otherworldly... heavenly.

He was knocked out of his thoughts by the rich aroma of the caffeine being brought over to him.

"Thanks."

"No worries."

"Take a seat?" Dean was as shocked by his request as Cas seemed.

"I’m-I'm working." Dean looked around the empty café.

"Everything appears to be in order." Dean added. Cas glanced out the frosted windows apprehensively as he pulled out the seat next to Dean.

Even up close, Dean was stunning, his freckles sprinkled his face like stars and Cas was doing all he could to not stare.

"Tell me about yourself, Cas." Dean said, taking a sip of his coffee, eyeing the man carefully.

Dean was captivated by his eyes. They were divine, like sapphires or the bluest of waters.

Stunning. 

"Well, a-what do you want to know?" Cas hated being put on the spot in regular situations, but what made this even worse was that it was a hot guy putting him on the spot, what if he freaked out and said something stupid? Deans gaze was intense... what if he was thinking about how bad he looked? Cas hadn't exactly prepared for this, he hadn't even put aftershave on, what if he stunk?

"Whatever you're comfortable sharing. We can exchange if that helps."

"Sure. Well uh, I'm 23, I have a French and Spanish background and I love baking." God, he was so boring, there's no way Dean would be interested in him, especially not now.

"That's cool. What do you bake?"

"All sorts, pastries, cakes, bread, biscuits, pies…"

"Pies? That's frickin awesome man."

"I take it you're a fan?" Cas was happy about Dean enthusiasm, maybe Dean didn't find him horrendously monotonous.

"I could eat them for breakfast, lunch and dinner." He wasn't kidding.

Cas chuckled at his enthusiasm.

"What about you?"

"I'm 21, Italian and Irish background and I love cars. Particularly mine."

"That explains a lot." Cas thought aloud. They were known to be exceptionally good looking; if stereotypes were anything to go off. Dean looked at him questioningly.

"You're incredibly handsome- I mean, yeah, you uh-" Shit. Cas knew there was no digging himself out of this hole, why didn't he just keep his thoughts in his head? 

IDIOT.

"Why thank you, you're exceptionally pretty yourself," Dean smirked, raising a brow, sipping his coffee to calm his nerves, he couldn’t believe he’d admitted that.

Cas had never been called pretty before.

But he liked it, especially because Dean had said it. 

Oh my god the handsome man had just called him pretty!

"What car is it?" Cas hurried to change the subject, he could hardly cope with himself right now, let alone Dean and his compliments.

“1967 Chevrolet Impala, more commonly known as 'baby'." 

Dean loved that Car, it was his fathers before he'd passed away. It was the only thing he really had left in his life...

"You gave your car a nickname?" Cas thought Dean was quite the character...complex and unusual, he liked it.

"Hell yeah! You'll have to come for a ride with me sometime." Dean smiled cheekily, winking, making Cas blushed furiously as his mind wandered; the phrasing had been somewhat provocative in Cas’ opinion, especially when partnered with that wink.

Cas got flustered by the slightest things Dean would say. His anxiety didn't help matters in any case regardless of who he would talk to, but Dean, Dean made him a whole other class of nervous, it was dangerous.

Dean loved the effect he had on him, it was quite wonderful.

He couldn't help but wonder what other things he could do to make him further flustered.

Dammit.

Suddenly he got an all too familiar feeling in his pants.

If only Cas knew the effect he had on Dean too, that would ruffle his feathers indeed.

Unfortunately, that was his cue.

"Right pretty boy. As much as I would love to stay and chat, unfortunately, I have an early start tomorrow. Which means I must bid you addio." Cas chuckled, blushing from his comment.

"Do you have work?"

"Yeah, 7 am, then I gotta study." Dean sighed heavily getting up.

"Oh, you study too?" Cas was more than impressed.

"Yeah, yeah I study engineering. I work as a mechanic part-time. Gotta pay the bills somehow. I do enjoy it though. Do you enjoy it here?"

"That's so cool! Yeah, I love it here. Mostly because I get to bake loads but one day my dream would be to open up a bakery." Cas gushed.

"Would it serve coffee?" He pressed approaching the door but still facing Cas

"That's a given."

"Consider me a patron."

"Why thank you, kind sir." Cas jested as he went back to the counter.

"See ya later pretty boy." Dean said walking out.


	4. Chapter 4

The second Dean woke up he knew.

This was going to be one of those days.

One of those days that even a good coffee wouldn't fix.

He lay in his bed giving himself a moment. He didn't want to move, didn't want to get up, get dressed. Didn't want to leave the house, didn't want to see anyone or do anything. He just wanted to curl up into a ball and be alone.

He knew it wasn't an option. Instead, he messaged Michael.

**Dean** : Let Bobby know I'll be a little late coming in this morning.’

 **Michael** : Everything ok, buddy?

 **Dean** : The usual.

 **Michael** : take whatever time you need, if you don't feel like you can come in don't, Bobby will be fine.

 **Dean** : Nah, it’s ok I’ll be in later.

 **Michael** : Let me know if you need anything, I’ll have a coffee waiting when you come.

 **Dean** : Thanks.

He put his phone down on the table and ran his hands over his face.

Why did he have to be like this?

Why couldn't he just get over it like normal people?

Why couldn't he move on and get better? Maybe having an actual will to live had something to do with it.

He didn't quite know.

'I can't do this.'

If only he hadn't have been such a brat, he wouldn't have been left all alone.

This was his punishment.

He'd gotten to a point where he couldn't even grieve anymore.

He just felt numb.

‘Why can't I get you off my mind?’

You're just some guy who comes into the place I work to drink some coffee.

Cas had finished his shift an hour ago. He lay in his bed flustered and too hot to sleep, not because the room was warm but because Dean had called him pretty last night.

Cas hadn’t stopped smiling like an idiot since he left, so much so, it earned him a funny look off his co-worker who took him off shift.

He barely even knew the guy, he needed to stop before he got carried away. Besides he had no idea if Dean was even into him like that.

‘But the flirting?’ He could be like that with everyone for all he knew, he was gorgeous, he could get anyone he wanted, besides, he was most likely straight and just being friendly with him.

Somehow Dean had managed to somewhat compose himself and drag himself into work.

Safe to say it was a painful shift he looked at the clock every 3 minutes waiting for 5 pm to come.

He was certainly in no mood to go out to the library and study afterwards.

“Would you prefer to go to mine? Or yours?”

“My place is a mess, but right now that's the only place I wanna be.”

“We’ll study for 3 hours max and then just spend the rest of the evening relaxing. I’ll invite Crowley tomorrow instead if you're feeling up for it?”

“Yeah, that's fine. Thank you, man, I appreciate you putting up with my crap, even though I don't always show it, I do.”

“Hey, no worries buddy, I'm here for you bro, you know that. Always.” Dean nodded appreciatively, suddenly his mind wandering to coffee, then to Cas causing this weird buzzing feeling inside of him. Odd. That was when an idea struck. “Actually. I have a better idea.” Dean relaid his plan to Michael.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I think we can get more done if it's okay with you.”

“Yeah it’s fine by me, I am feeling pretty tired from working 12 hours.”

The plan was instead of studying right now, instead, take a shower, take a nap until 1 am then go get coffee, pick up Crowley and then go to his place to study.

It would give him a chance to sort his place out a little, sometimes he just didn't have the will to clean it, especially when he felt like he had today, which for Dean was a common occurrence.

_***Queue the pouty crying face in the mirror in his head*** _

Best of all it would give him an excuse to see Cas.

He wasn't sure why the thought made him somewhat buzzed, but he couldn’t say he minded it, it was refreshing to have something to look forward to rather than the constant feelings of hollowness and desolation.

Besides, who doesn't love a good ol’ depression nap?

Dean got home and fell straight asleep atop his bed in his dirty work gear.

Luckily he'd managed to set an alarm for 12 am before he’d passed out, which left him with just enough time to shower and get his seating area in some order before everyone came.

Before he knew it Michael was at his door, he only lived around 7 minutes away so he often would randomly show up at Dean’s place, thankfully he knew when to show up and when not to, he was good in that respect.

“Hey, you doing better?”

“Yeah, I’m okay, desperate for some java juice right about now though.”

“When did you start snorting crack?”

“What?”

“Java juice?”

“Shut up! Let’s go.”

“Your excitement about coffee never ceases to amaze me.”

“Its okay Michelangelo, not all of us are born with such refined tastebuds,” Dean spoke, getting into the car.

Michael rolled his eyes at the name, but didn't complain, he was just happy Dean was feeling better than earlier.

He’d been friends with Dean for as long as he could remember, he was like a brother to him, he had been with Dean when he found out his parents had died and hadn't left his side since, hence why he was so caring towards him. Even though they were roughly the same age. Michael at times was like an older brother. 

As Dean pulled up to the coffee shop, Michael took in all the colours, confused, "This doesn't look like it's your kind of place." 

"I thought that too but the coffee is phenomenal and the servers are really nice." Michael was officially suspicious, Dean was being complimentary, that was rare.

This place was not Dean’s vibe at all.

Suddenly he became aware of how composed and well-groomed Dean was looking in comparison to this morning, this was definitely weird, he’d known Dean long enough to know something was going on.

No, he was reading too much into this.

But he was still going to keep an eye out, could it be possible? Dean, having a secret crush or something?

No way. He usually gave that stuff away.

~~Okay, no, shut up Michael.~~

"Let's go see how good this coffee really is."

"I was thinking we could get takeaway. I'll go get it, you stay here. My shout! To say thanks." Dean said suspiciously persistently, furthering Michael's curiosity.

"Oh. Yeah sure."

"Mocha, right?"

"The only drinkable coffee that isn't a cappuccino."

"I'll be right back."

"Hello, Dean," Cas spoke as soon as the man stepped in.

"Hey, pretty boy. How's it going?" Cas stood there flushed for a moment.

Why did Dean have this effect on him? "I'm good thanks, you?"

"Yeah, I'm ok."

"The usual?"

"You know it," Dean winked,

"Oh, and a mocha, but to go today please."

"Oh okay, sure." He couldn’t help but be curious as to who the second order was for.

"Sorry to disappoint. I know I'm the highlight of your night." Dean teased leaning over the counter, almost as if he’d heard the disappointment in Cas’ head.

They both jumped away slightly as they heard the bell.

Cas busied himself putting the order into the register, trying to hide his blush.

Michael.

**Dammit.**

"Ah Dean, you left your wallet in the car."

"Oh shit. Thanks, Michael. You go sit, I'll bring these." Dean spoke a little too eagerly.

Michael's suspicions only grew further.

But were slightly dampened when he realised the cashier was a guy, maybe Dean really was only excited about the coffee?

He was acting shifty and the barista hadn't looked either of them in the eye since he’d walked in. No, there was definitely something up here. "My friend here isn't causing you any trouble, is he? I know he can get a little much at times."

"Ah, no, no. He's perfect. Um, perfectly pleasant I mean." Cas wanted to disintegrate like the coffee granules in the hot water.

Both Dean and Cas flushed at his words, still avoiding eye contact.

Just who was this guy? Brother? Friend?...Boyfriend?

 _"What are you doing?_ " Dean hissed when the milk frother was loud enough to disguise the whisper.

Michael shot him a smirk and continued. "He been coming here a lot?"

Cas looked at Dean, almost as though he was asking permission to answer the question.

Dean didn't flinch so Cas answered. "Yeah, practically every night."

"Must be a great place if he keeps coming back. He's something of a coffee connoisseur. Though, I'm surprised. It doesn't seem like it'd be somewhere he'd like what with all the colours and the menu… interesting. Must be damn good coffee to keep him coming back." Dean knew Michael was messing with him at this point.

He was pissed that he'd been caught out so quickly.

He'd wanted this to be his little personal thing.

No pressure, no questions just Dean a good coffee and a pretty barista.

"Well, uh we do try to give our customers the best quality coffee and service possible.”

Michael nodded, still suspicious.

Dean had never spoken on his sexuality, but now that Michael thought about it, he’d never really been in any relationships.

There had been countless girls who had crushes and thrown themselves at Dean but Dean had never really reciprocated. Michael believed that a lot of it had been to do with his trauma and mental health, but maybe there was another factor too…

Either way, he knew Dean had had a rough day and so decided the games could continue another time.

"Right I'll meet you in the car. Nice to meet you?"

"Cas...nice to meet you too, thank you, Michael."

"We should hang out here sometime I reckon, Dean." With a nod of his head, he went back to the car.

"Ah, sorry about him. He can be a little uh… intense, sometimes."

Now was Cas' chance to test the waters.

"Its okay, is he uh, your boyfriend or something?"

"What? Oh, NO, no… he's more like a brother, my best friend."

"Oh okay, sorry."

"Don't worry sweetheart, there's plenty of me to go round." Dean said, turning to leave.

Cas let out a sigh of frustration once he’d heard Dean’s car door shut;

_“WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!”_


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little longer to make up for lack of posting recently

"What the hell was that about back in there?" Dean quizzed as he got in the car.

"What? I didn't do anything?" Michael feigned innocence.

"Dude you practically interrogated the poor guy."

“I did not!”

“You totally did! But why?”

“Was curious.”

“About what?”

“Nothing in particular.”

“Yeah, right!”

“Coffee’s getting cold.”

Dean wasn't an idiot. He knew what Michael was getting at, he was right… What was he thinking?

Here he was flirting with a guy he hardly knew.  
Was he even into guys? Did he even like him?

Or was this his new way of trying to fill the void?

He'd never flirted with anyone before...

Where did this sudden burst of confidence come from every time he was around Cas?

"Are you gonna drive or is this your new apartment?" Michael said, snapping Dean from his thoughts.

"Yeah, yeah, shut up!" Dean said aggressively, starting up the car and driving off.

Crowley had decided it was a Saturday night and he didn't want to study because he actually had a social life, unlike Dean and Michael.

"Tell him I hope he rots." Dean spoke, sipping his coffee and half eyeing the textbook.

"He said he loves you too." Michael chuckled.

"Yeah sure now we're gonna slow dance and braid each other's hair."

"Piss off Dean." Michael guffawed, whacking him lightly on the arm with a textbook.

"He has a point though. We're 21, yet here we are sitting reading textbooks on a Saturday night when we could be out having fun." Michael added.

"Well, I'm sorry I bore you. You're more than welcome to go join him." Dean said.

"You know that's not what I meant."

"Yeah, yeah. I know." Dean sighed, he felt bad that Michael always gave up his time when he could be out having fun, to sit indoors with Dean and decided he would indulge him, "Y'know what, next Saturday we'll join him. How's that sound?"

"You sure? What if-"

"Don't worry about it. We'll go out regardless."

"Hell yeah!" Michael had a sudden spark in his eye, "let's study away then."

Sunday rolled around and Dean woke up, a textbook on his face and leg half off the sofa.

"Morning dumbass." Michael greeted from the fridge.

"Yeah- what are you making?"

"I was thinking of some scrambled eggs but all I'm seeing in here is condiments. Where's the food dude?"

"Eh, I still need to go shopping. Couldn't be arsed."

"Right then. Let's go shopping and eat breakfast out too, I need some stuff for my place."

Deans rent was paid and he did still have $150 to last him until next Sunday so he could manage some shopping.

"Yeah fine. Whatever. But first-"

"Coffee, I know. I went down to that place you love." Michael pointed to the beverage on the counter.

Dean checked the time, it was 11 am meaning Cas wouldn't have been on shift which removed the feeling of disappointment from a missed opportunity from his stomach.

"You took my car? Michael!" Dean half-yelled, Michael really irritated him sometimes but Dean couldn't stay mad at him, he was the only thing like-family he had left.

"Jeez, where's the thanks?! Don't worry I even topped her up with petrol." Michael dramatized.

"Dude! Ugh. Thanks but, my- ugh! How much do I owe you?"

"Piss off Dean. Go wash your ass up and get that down you so we can go. I'm hungry."

Michael knew Dean would be strapped for cash if they were going out on the weekend, so he did him the favour of filling up his tank even though he knew Dean hated anyone touching his car because of the attached sentiments.

Michael could get away with it- barely, but he could because he knew how to expertly defuse the situation, such as diverting Dean with coffee or good news; but anyone else would be holding their torn-off head in their hands.

"But I hate working day shifts!"

"Please Cas. I think he's planning on proposing!"

"Oh my gosh! Congratulations. Fine. I'll do it just this once."

"You're A lifesaver!"

"Yeah, whatever." Cas chuckled, hanging up the phone.

There went his Saturday plans.

**Cas** : Sorry Jack, I can't make it on Saturday afternoon, gotta go into work.  
 **Jack** : that's okay. Let's go somewhere Saturday night instead?  
 **Cas** : sure, where?  
 **Jack** : there's this really cool bar in town.  
 **Cas** : I don't know.  
 **Jack** : I know it makes you nervous but when was the last time you went on a night out?  
 **Cas** : Okay, fine.  
 **Jack** : See you on Saturday at 8 pm then.

Great… _what had he gotten himself into?_

Luckily the garage didn't open on Sunday's, though sometimes they would have to go in to do paperwork, today was a day off so once they'd eaten they took their time shopping, Dean had given that a whole new definition, however.

"It's coffee, not a freakin' clutch that needs repairing, _hurry up._ "

"Dude, it's important. It needs to be the right consistency and flavour or its all ruined."

"Its granules, dude. They're all the same."

"That's rude. Each granule is unique and has its own burst of flavour. It's all decaf or Starbucks rip-offs. No one wants that crap. They don't even have the Hawaiian one I like!" Dean complained sounding genuinely offended, coffee was the one thing other than his car that he would splurge on.

Michael rolled his eyes at his friends fussing, "here, Brazilian coffee is good right, it’s not even decaf, try something new, we can find the Hawaiian one another time and in the meantime, you have your precious coffee shop to go to if this isn't good enough."

Dean grumbled but chucked the coffee into this trolley as Michael let out a sigh of relief.

"I'll be back in five."

"I didn't realise we were having a sleepover, I would've brought my diary so we c-"

"Shut up Dean." It was Friday and Michael wanted to make sure Dean would be all good to go out tomorrow night and had invited himself to stay over at Deans flat that night.

"Whatever. I want-"

"Coffee, yes I know."

"Hurry up, _smartass_."

Dean checked the time, it was 1 am meaning Cas would be on shift, and he was really craving some coffee right now, especially if he had to put up with Michael after that shift.

He loved the guy but sometimes he was a little too happy for Dean. But he didn't begrudge him, in fact sometimes he wished he could be more like him. He was so likeable and always the life of the party and Dean was the total opposite.  
Dark and bitter, much like how he loved his coffee.

**Michael** : Dude I need a shit. Give me 5 minutes.  
 **Dean** : I'm gonna go get the coffee, I'll meet you here when you're done.  
 **Michael** : Dude!  
 **Dean** : No, dude. I'll come to pick you up when I'm done, have a nice shit.  
 **Michael** : Fine.

Dean sped off toward the coffee shop.  
He knew if he would've taken Michael he would've interrupted Cas and him again and _he was not in the mood to be interrupted right now._

"Hey, Cas." Dean said walking in, slightly confused by the man taking off his apron, but definitely not complaining about what was underneath.  
He was wearing a tight tank and even tighter jeans that perfectly accentuated every bulge and curve on his taut body.

"Oh. **Hello, Dean.** "

"You goin’ somewhere?"

"Yeah, my shift is almost over, I'm just waiting on my co-worker."

"Too late to order something? I swear the coffee tastes better when you make it." Dean flattered, but after the coffee Michael had given him last Saturday he knew it was a fact.

"Of course, Dean. _Only the best for you._ " ~~Shut up Cas.~~

_Was he flirting? **No**._

"I uh thought you only worked nights?" Dean recalled aloud.

"Yeah, but my co-worker needed me to cover, big plans tomorrow."

Dean just smiled and nodded as the man made his coffee.

"Do you drive?"

"Yeah, but my car is _totalled_. Besides it's not worth driving to work."

"How’re you getting home?"

"Walking, it’s only a few blocks away."

"Well, it's quite late, if you want a lift, I don't mind driving you."

Cas paused observing the man for a moment. Cas didn't trust people easily but something told him to trust Dean.

"If its no trouble, then sure. Thanks."

" **For you, never**."

Why did Cas make him feel like this? Since when did Dean offer lifts to anyone? Let alone people he hardly knew…

Cas' heart melted at the words. Shit, he needed to keep himself in check.  
Especially if he was about to have to spend time with him in a car.

A close space for 15 minutes.  
 _Oh god._  
 _Why did he do this to himself?_

Dean handed Cas the money, purposefully brushing his fingertips on his hand, more than was necessary just to see the man's reaction.

It was priceless, as per usual.

Cas stared back at Dean, slightly dazed, lips parted and a tinge of blush on his cheeks.  
 _ ~~ **Beautiful.**~~_

They were both yanked out their daze by the bell ringing when Cas' coworker showed up.

"Where to, Cas?" Dean smiled warmly at the man.

It took Cas a few moments to remember he actually had to respond to Dean and not just stare at him.

"Uh, right to the end of this road, third left on the right."

"Ok, might need a little hand figuring that one out." Dean chuckled.

Why did Cas seem so nervous? Was he afraid of Dean?

"You alright, Cas? You seem a little nervous?" Dean questioned looking over at the passenger side.

Cas could help but notice how Dean was paying minimal attention to the road and more to him through the mirrors or just turning towards him. Was he trying to kill them both?

"I-I'm fine, thank you."

Dean smirked, maybe he was nervous for some other reason.

"You know, you're even prettier up close." Dean teased, eyeing the man's reaction carefully as he pulled up.

Cas blushed furiously.

Should he make a move?

Wait, he wanted to make a move on Cas?

_Ok, more on that later…_

"Thank you Dean."

"No problem, Cas, anytime. Seriously."  
Calm down, Dean.

Cas smiled appreciatively at Dean.

"See you tomorrow night?" Dean half inquired.

"If you come in during the day I'll be there from 11am till 5 pm, I have plans in the evening."

"Oh, okay. You got plans in the evening, a date maybe?" Dean knew he was being nosey but he had to know for some reason incomprehensible to him.

"Oh no, just meeting a friend." Cas replied shyly.

Dean breathed an inaudible sigh of relief.

“By the way, if your car is playing up, I don't mind checking it out for you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, why not.”  
It would be more of an excuse to see him outside of the cafe, so Cas could see him in action.

“Thank you.”

“You’re most welcome sweet-cheeks.” Dean winked.  
Cas' heart sped up more than it should have.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow afternoon then hey pretty boy?"

"If you're lucky, handsome," Cas said, leaving the car with a smirk.

That was unusual for Cas but Dean liked it.

Wait-Cas thought he was handsome?

Cas, however, went back to his apartment and cringed, wanting to smack himself for even opening his mouth.

Dean always left him so flustered that he could barely function.

Surely it wasn't fair that Dean was so gorgeous.  
He needed to focus on something other than his ridiculous crush.

'The hot ones are always straight.' Cas lamented to himself.

He was even considering having a few drinks just to get Dean off his mind and he really was not one for drinking.  
It made him nervous to not be in total control of himself, he'd gotten drunk once on his 19th birthday and had hardly touched a drink since after that horror show.

Hopefully, tomorrow night would be a good distraction.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *gay panic*

Dean woke up regretting his suggestion to go out tonight.

He felt exhausted and trusted he looked worse than he felt.

‘ _Coffee_.’ was the only thought that registered in his tired mind.

Then his mind wandered to Cas, he was going to be working the morning shift today.

Dean checked his phone disregarding the notifications, they could wait until after his coffee.

It was 11:05 am and Dean was too tired for life so he decided to go casual.

He’d left Michael sleeping on his sofa and gone to get a coffee.

He did, however, regret it the second he got into his car. He looked down at his attire, slim leg joggers and a fitted hoodie, in all fairness, he’d used all his energy just brushing his teeth- he should’ve just stayed at home, made one of those instant coffees. They didn't hit as a cafe coffee did though and he knew that was exactly what today called for.

Dean supposed it was finally time for Cas to see him as a mess, well, more of a mess than he usually did.

He psyched himself up before stepping into the cafe, which was much busier than he was used to.

Normally it was just Cas, him and the slow hum of the coffee machines.

Today there were a few people sitting at tables, reading the paper or having a light breakfast and there was even someone ahead of him in the line, being served by someone who was not Cas...

Maybe Dean’s attire wouldn’t matter after all and Cas had already finished his morning shift? Wait no, he started at 11 so- His question was then answered as Cas came through the storage cupboard holding more coffee cups.

“Hello, Dean!” Cas greeted too happy for someone at this time in the morning, but for once, Dean didn't mind or feel the need to scowl and tell them to shut up as he often did to Michael and Crowley, instead he smiled and managed a just about audible “Mornin’ Cas.”

“I’ll take this,” Cas murmured to his co-worker as Dean approached the counter. He knew Dean was not a morning person and was simply in need of his daily fix of coffee.

“Double-shot black coffee?” Cas knew Dean's simple order like the back of his hand, and Dean knew it was stupid but it made him smile for some reason???

“If you make that a twin double, you got yourself a deal,” Dean responded.

“Seriously? Rough morning?” Cas raised his eyebrows and then proceeded to check out Dean’s outfit; normally he was in some sort of plaid shirt or henley or on the rare occasion his work attire, today he was in a hoodie, it looked cosy and fitted him in all the right places so Cas could almost make out the shape of his abs and it took everything for him not to start drooling right into the younger man’s coffee.

“Rough life.” Dean jested, _why did he just say that?_ He knew he was a mess, but Cas did not need to know he was such a mess.

He then became hyper-aware of Cas eyeing his clothes, _‘oh god, he probably thinks I’m a scrub.’_ Shit.

“I feel you on that one.” Cas chuckled, he’d woken up at 06:30 am after sleeping at 3.30 am because his stupid mind refused to stop racing.

Dean wasn't one for conversation before coffee, but just being able to smell it in the air made it that much easier, well, that and he enjoyed talking to Cas, “What time do you finish your shift?”

“In about 5 hours, why, you planning on keeping me company?” Cas teased, handing Dean his coffee.

Dean chuckled lightly, saying “I would, but I have plans tonight.”

Cas' mind raced. Was he going on a date? Where was he going? _Why was he so infatuated by Dean???_ “Oh, t-” Before Cas could ask a single one of the questions looming in his head he was interrupted.

“Cas, gimme a hand?” His co-worker beckoned before he even managed to reply.

“See you tomorrow, pretty boy.” Dean winked, turning to leave.

“Bye, Dean.” Cas smiled before rushing to the counter.

"Yeah?" Dean said, shutting the door, as Michael called for him.

"No way you're already up?!" Michael was genuinely astounded walking out of the bathroom, he can't remember the last time Dean was willingly awake on a day off before midday.

"I've been to the coffee shop and back."

"You're on a roll, don't burn yourself out though, got a long night ahead." 

"Yeah... Where are we going?"

"Dunno, Crowley said he knows some decent bars so I guess we'll go there." Dean’s nerves shot up at the thought.

He couldn't remember the last time he'd been on a night out? His eighteenth perhaps? He wasn't sure. Even on his 21st, he'd simply gone to a quiet Irish pub downtown with just Michael and Crowley to have a few drinks and gone home to sleep. He really didn't know why they put up with him, but he appreciated it nonetheless.

“You good, Dean?” Michael looked slightly concerned at the spaced-out look on Dean’s face.

“Yeah, yeah.” Dean replied,

“What’re you making for breakfast?” he added, changing the subject.

“Cheeky shit,” Michael chuckled, opening the fridge. “Can't be bothered to cook, how’s a bacon bagel sound?”

“Whatever, I’ve got coffee.”

“You still need to eat.” He noticed Dean was going through a phase of all coffee, no eating and wanted to make sure he was at least eating something.

“Yeah, yeah I’ll have some,” he said, sipping his coffee.

Michael rolled his eyes, busying himself in making the bagels.

“Hey, Cas!”

“Hey, Jack. Come in.”

Jack was Castiel’s cousin, he was younger than him by 3 years and a little dense, but it was endearing.

“You ready to go and have some fun?”

“Sure.”

“Aw c'mon Cas, it’ll be great. I promise.”

“Don't make promises you can't keep.” Cas warned.

“I would never!” Jack feigned shock, trying to get Cas to calm down a little. He knew how bad Cas’ anxiety could get sometimes and wanted to make sure Cas was as at ease as possible.

“If you want, I have some CBD oil?”

“With alcohol? No thank you. I have some Ylang-ylang here that normally helps before my shift.”

“Since when does work make you nervous?” Jack asked Cas concerned, Cas loved his workplace. Even on the first day, despite his anxiety, Cas had been the epitome of calm.

“I’m too sober to talk about it.” Cas surmised bluntly, forcing his mind away from the thought of Dean possibly being on a date tonight, he did relax slightly after the effects of the oil, though.

But he couldn’t help but feel a little jealousy in the pit of his stomach, he needed to get drunk and get Dean off his mind because it was not healthy for him to be focusing on the man so much.

He checked himself a last time in the mirror, he wore a white shirt, cuffs slightly folded over with the first 3 buttons undone and black skinny jeans, with his hair sticking up slightly.

He knew he’d regret it when he got there but instead, turning to Jack he said,

“Let’s go.”

“Dean what are you doing in there?!” Michael rapped on the lavatory door for the fifth time, he needed a wee and Dean was taking forever.

Michael sighed in relief as Dean unlocked the door and walked out.

“Dude! You were in there an hour.” he said, before seeing the results, “You look great, not as good as me though of course.”

Dean smiled at the compliment, rolling his eyes at the man.

It had been a while since Michael had seen Dean put so much effort into himself, it made him happy to see, even the small wins were big wins for Dean and he appreciated it.

Dean had opted for a maroon shirt leaving the first few buttons undone and sleeves rolled up as the weather was warm, paired with some black boots and deep blue skinny jeans. He’d even managed to do his hair up but had decided to keep his light stubble.

Maybe Michael was right that sometimes looking good makes you feel good because he was feeling significantly better than earlier.

He took the opportunity of Michael using the bathroom to make himself a quick cup of instant coffee, the Brazilian brand hadn’t been too bad, still not as good as the one Cas made.

His mind wandered to what Cas was doing, he was going out tonight too. Cas seemed more of a restaurant bar kind of guy from what he had gathered over the past month of getting to know him. He sipped his coffee absent-mindedly as he thought about Cas, wondering what he’d wear on a night out…

 _Woah-ok Dean_ , ~~that's enough~~.

He needed to get a grip on this thing before his mind started going too far.

“Let’s go, Crowley’s outside,” Michael said, slipping his jacket on, opening the door.

Dean chugged the last of his coffee, dumping the cup in the sink and locking the door behind him.

“What? We’re going in that thing?!” Dean said outraged, remembering his disdain for Crowley’s ‘ _crappy_ ’ Nissan Xterra

“Hey, rude!” Crowley feigned objection at Dean's comment.

“Just calling it as I see it, Crowley.”

“Well you can't be designated driver, and I know I can't be either and you don't want Crowley driving the Impala so, you are fresh out of options Winchester. Get in.” Michael reasoned.

It was true, out of all of them, Crowley was the most responsible drinker as he did it often.

“Yeah, yeah- I call shotgun.” Dean raced to the passenger side.

“Whatever, let’s just go!”

“This is… something,” Cas said, fiddling with his shirt cuff, was he too overdressed?

This was more of a club/bar which was not usually Cas’ scene but Jack had suggested it and he didn't want to annoy him by constantly saying no to all of his suggestions.

“Don’t worry Cas, you’ll have a good time. What do you want to drink? I want to know what's making you high-strung at work.” Jack spoke enthusiastically.

The thought of Dean only made him want to drink more to stop thinking about him. Cas needed to stop mistaking Dean's _humour and kindness_ for flirting, it wasn't helping him at all. He couldn’t help but smile at Jack's excitement,

“I’ll have a Tequila, actually, what the hell- **get three**.”

"I can't believe these places have the audacity to be this loud and play this crap," Dean grumbled, walking over to the bar, he figured he may as well make the most of it whilst he was there, lord knows he wouldn't set foot in a club for a long time after.

"What do you want to drink?" Crowley asked.

" **Whisky** ," Michael replied, taking the words from Deans mouth.

"You're -"

"So annoying, I know, love you too."

"Shut up, idiot." Dean smiled, lightly punching his arm.

"God, you guys are idiots." Crowley breathed.

"Don't worry Crowley, we love you too," Dean said as Crowley handed him his drink, Michael nodded in agreement.

"Hey, Michael!" The three men turned to the voice confused.

"Oh, hey Jack! How're you doing?"

"Great, how are you?"

"Yeah, I'm good. We're on a lad's night, you here with someone?"

"Yeah, I'm just here with my cousin, catching up-" Jack was interrupted by a bartender giving him his drinks.

"Have fun." Michael laughed signalling to the tray of various drinks as he headed off to the booths.

"Who was that?" Dean asked polishing off the last of his drink, signalling for another.

"Jack, he's on the soccer team with me." Dean nodded in response, sometimes he forgot people actually had healthy hobbies. He brushed the thought aside reaching for his second drink, meanwhile, Michael hadn't even finished his first.

"Where are you going?" Michael asked Crowley as he got up from the bar.

"I'll be at a booth, Frederick and Amanda are here to… see me. Feel free to join us."

"Have fun," Dean said, shaking his head, chuckling lightly.

"Brings us out just to ditch us, _classic_ Crowley," Michael adds, shaking his head.

"Fredrick's new," Dean commented before commencing to order a beer, he still barely felt tipsy- mostly due to the caffeine in his system and Michael was slightly alarmed but said nothing, not wanting Dean to feel like he was monitoring him.

"Yeah, last month it was…?"

" _Augustus_ ," Dean added, swigging his beer.

"Always with the foreign students," Michael sighed, finishing his drink.

"Two tequila shots and a tequila sunset for you…" Jack said sitting down opposite Cas with his Vodka soda.

"What? Don't give me that look, you're a lightweight." Jack stated when Cas rolled his eyes.

Cas downed the first shot instantly, feeling the hit to his system.

"So tell me, what's going on?" Jack inquired taking a gulp of his drink.

" _There's-there's this guy_."

Cas had come out to him as gay many years ago and Jack had been extremely supportive of him. "Oooh! Who is he?!" Jack questioned excitedly.

"A customer, he's- he's perfect, ok. He's hilarious, and so clever and on top of all that he's gorgeous. Stunning, even, with the most beautiful eyes and the poutiest rosy lips and these freckles on his face that rival the stars and-"

"Boy, you are whipped." Jack said, shaking his head as he chuckled. He’d never heard Cas speak about anyone this way, ever.

" _ **Unfortunately**_."

"Why unfortunately?"

Cas took another shot, _that one hit differently._

"He's not into me like that, think he's straight but he's funny and kind and I want him but he makes me so nervous I'm lucky to even string together a coherent sentence whilst he's around."

"Have you spoken to him about it? Also, I'm confused why is he making you nervous at work if he’s just a customer?"

“He comes in like every day, always when I am on shift which is late at night and he’ll sit there and talk to me and i just-”

“Are you sure he doesn't like you? Because it sounds like he's putting in quite a lot of effort to be near you if you ask me…”

“He's a night owl and he studies, he seems super friendly, it’s probably just a coincidence.”

“Wait he goes to uni? Do you know what he studies?” Jack asked, wondering if he knew him as Cas refused to give Jack his name knowing he would stalk him on social media, even though he seemed impossible to find as Cas had tried and failed to find him.

“Engineering, he also works as a Mechanic part time-gah!” Cas groaned in frustration taking large gulps of the beverage in front of him.

Jack knew Michael worked as a Mechanic part-time but he didn't fit Cas' extensive description, he was blue-eyed, with dusty blond hair and he didn't study engineering, he studied computer science- but maybe he knew who Cas was talking about…

“I’m- I’m gonna go get another drink, you want anything?” Cas asked, mildly tipsy.

“Uh, I’ll have another vodka soda, thanks, get some nachos!”

“Kay.” Cas said walking up to the bar.

“I need a waz, be back in a minute,” Dean said to Michael, Michael nodded knowing he didn't need one, he just needed a few minutes out.

“Cas? Right?” Michael asked after Cas had finished speaking to the bartender.

Cas tilted his head to the side slightly trying to recall where he knew Michael from, “Oh y-you’re Dean’s friend! Uh, Michael! How are you?” Fuck he was making an idiot of himself in front of Dean's friend.

_He wondered where Dean was if Michael was alone. Maybe he was actually on a date?_

_~~STOP.~~ _

“Not bad, having a lads night with my friends, what about you?” Michael responded purposefully neglecting to mention Dean.

Michael noted Cas looking around, slightly shifty, almost as though he was looking out for someone…

“Oh yeah, I’m with a friend, I’ll see you around,” Cas said nervously as he collected his order from the bartender.

Michael waved and then watched as Castiel disappeared into a booth when an idea struck, he was curious, he had been since he learned about Dean’s new favourite cafe and barista.

He noticed Dean would bring Cas up in conversation sometimes, for someone who was only his favourite Barista he sure knew a lot about the man. That and Dean had even asked Bobby for permission to fix Cas’ car on his own as a side project at the garage and Michael couldn’t help but wonder if maybe it was Cas behind Dean's sudden shift in mood…

“Shall we go check on Crowley?” Michael suggested sneakily, as he handed a slightly tipsy Dean another beer.

“Sure, but if they’re making out I’m coming right back here.”

“Yeah yeah, believe me, I have no desire to watch Crowley make out with someone else.”

"Ah, how nice of you to finally remember me!" Crowley jested as they walked up to the booth where Crowley sat.

"You're the one who ditched us." Dean spoke.

Michael teetered towards the edge of the booth, leaning close to where Cas and Jack sat.

"Oh Dean, darling don't get jealous, love you really."

"Yeah, yeah, careful, Mikey might get jealous."

"Oh c'mon **DEAN** , you know he loves you the most!” Dean gave Michael a confused look as he chuckled.

"Woah, Cas are you OK?" Jack asked looking at the man as he choked slightly on his drink.

The second Cas had heard Dean's name leave Michael's mouth he'd choked, who loved Dean, what?

"Oh hey Jack, I didn't realise this was your friend! Everything OK you seem a little flustered **CAS**?" Michael said, a smug expression creeping its way on his face as he saw Dean's eyes shoot wide open.

"Michael, I didn't know you knew Cas?" Jack spoke after making sure Cas was OK.

"Oh yeah, he's my best friend's favourite Barista." Cas looked everywhere but at Michael until he felt another presence loom over him.

"Ah Dean, look who I found with Jack!"

" **Cas**?" Dean spoke softly, sobering slightly taking in the image of the man, subconsciously licking his lips.

_His crisp white shirt made his sparkling blue orbs stand out further and it was slightly see-through under the lighting and he could see the light dustings of sweat on Cas' partially exposed chest. His face was flushed and lips rosy from being chewed on and his hair looked phenomenal, Dean had no words to describe it other than sex hair and it was amazing. Cas finally mustered up the courage to look at Dean and the second he did, he melted._

**"Hello, Dean."**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Feedback is appreciated :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In da club 50 cent

Jack took a moment to look at Dean after seeing the momentary panic he'd seen flash on Cas' face.

_'1 sec, I'll be right back'_ Michael dipped out as an idea struck.

_Cas was mesmerized, the maroon shirt fitted Deans every muscle, he could see the hint of a tattoo peeking out from where the shirt was unbuttoned, causing him to swallow thickly. Dean's hair was done differently than his usual style, but it suited him completely. Then there was the way his lips wrapped around his beer bottle... It took him a moment to stop staring._

Jack gave Cas a suspicious glance as he took a moment and looked at Dean, he was friends with Michael; good looking, with green eyes, sharp cheekbones and freckles- _oH **OKAY**_.

"You guys wanna join us on the dance floor?" Michael asked rejoining the group.

Dean looked at him confused, Michael knew Dean didn't dance at clubs because of the 'crap' music and Cas looked at Jack terrified, he never danced in public, let alone with someone as handsome as Dean. Just as Dean was about to complain about the music being 'craptastic', a remix of AC/DC's 'You Shook Me All Night Long' and Dean looked suspiciously at Michael. He knew clubs rarely played quality music, especially the kind he prefered.

 ~~Michael may or may not have requested for the DJ to play a remix of the song~~ , he knew Dean couldn't say no.

"Yeah, why not, we'll join, right Cas?" Jack smirked.

"Sure." Cas said, visibly tense, avoiding Dean's eyes which were all over him as he swigged the last of his drink and stood to join them.

"C'mon Dean, this is one of your favourites." Dean gave Cas an indeterminable look, before turning to Michael.

Why was it so difficult to act normal around him, its just Dean?

Or maybe that was it, to him he wasn't _just Dean_.

He couldn't think about this right now, not when he knew he was going to have to spend time in close proximity with the man.

His nerves made him feel like the room was spinning. What if Dean saw a pretty girl on the dance floor and started dancing with her? Or the person who said they loved Dean danced with Dean?

Still, he managed to make his way into the crowd, his nerves settling slightly as the effect of the alcohol hit his senses.

He wasn't really one for dancing unless he was in his kitchen alone after a glass of wine.

Dean, however, appeared to be getting into it, singing along and moving to the beat, Cas swooned slightly hearing Dean's melodic voice singing along. It was infectious, and Cas couldn't help but move alongside him. 

“I didn't expect to see you here.” Dean spoke, dancing closer to Cas, who was now getting into the song.

“It’s not my usual choice, but Jack wanted to come so I indulged him.” Cas said,

 _“I’m glad you did_.” Dean whispered breath hot on Cas’ ear, leaning in close, harmonising Cas’ movements.

Dean watched Cas’ body movement and he could hardly contain himself.

He noticed the song change and began stiffening up slightly when Cas looked into his eyes through batted eyelashes, whispering, “One more song?” there was no way Dean could even think about saying no, moving even closer to Cas.

Cas finished the last of his drink, disregarding everything, He didn't know who had said they loved Dean, in this moment, he didn't care either.

_**At this moment Dean was with him.** _

**Dean was mesmerised.**

Cas swayed his hips a little, trailing his hands down his body, and oh how he knew he shouldn’t but Dean wanted his own hands running down Cas' taut body. His eyes fixed on Cas’ body as he moved, hypnotized.

Dean meanwhile, was trying to make sure he was keeping up with Cas' movements so he didn't draw attention to the fact he was shamelessly thirsting after the barista.

Cas had heard Dean gasp a little, shaky and definitely a sign of arousal, so his hazed mind hoped. He liked that he was making Dean feel some of what he always felt around the man.

When the song had drawn to a close, Cas pulled back, meeting Dean’s gaze. Dean couldn’t help but stare into those gorgeous sapphire orbs, licking his lips subconsciously. He didn’t know if Dean’s blown pupils were a symptom of the dim club lights or arousal, but Cas hoped it was the latter.

As the last drink settled in, he wasn't entirely registering what he was doing until he found himself twirling around and moving into Dean, grinding back on him ever so slightly until he heard Dean's breath hitch and Cas froze.

Momentarily, he sobered up, readying himself for Dean to react with horror and turn and walk away, anxious that in his intoxicated state he had taken things too far.

That was until he felt the slight grasp of Deans tentative hands on his hips, begging for more friction.

He could feel the heat radiating from Dean’s body as he started to get into the dancing. Cas heard Dean grunt faintly behind him in that deep voice that plagued the wettest of his dreams and it was glorious, the fact that it was him having this effect on Dean, he relished in it, drunken confidence growing.

The heat radiated off Dean’s body and his own was clammy and warm, bristling with goosebumps. The strain became physical, he could feel his dick twitch slightly in his pants. He wanted to make a move, wanted to touch more of Cas, to grab him and take him in front of everyone in the bar.

 _This is **dangerous**._ Dean thought to himself, trying to restrain himself in his haze.

As the beat slowed, so did Cas, almost afraid, but still, he turned around to face Dean once the song had changed. Their eyes met, the tension tangible, as they locked their gazes on one another, unable to break away like they were held together with invisible chains.

Cas couldn’t believe he had just done that, once Dean had sobered up he was going to hate him, and if by some lucky chance he didn't, there was nothing to say Dean wouldn’t be repulsed by it and never want to see Cas again.

He needed another drink before his anxiety got the better of him.

Tonight was about having fun, **_he could have regrets in the morning and for the rest of his life after that._**

Once Dean had managed to get the majority of his brain cells back in order, and his mind out of the gutter, he managed to ask Cas if he wanted another drink, he knew the barista was already plastered and would regret what had just happened in the morning, but they could at least enjoy the fun whilst they could.

Before Cas left him as everyone else did.

_Yep, now was the time for that drink._

"So, wanna talk about that?" Jack said to Michael who was intrigued by Dean’s little dance with Cas as they made their way over to the booth Jack had been sharing with Cas earlier.

Dean and Cas hadn't noticed Michael and Jack observing them the whole time they were ‘dancing’ and simultaneously pissing themselves.

For those moments it had felt like it was just them in the club, no one else registered.

But now they both felt slightly flustered, especially after realising their friends may have seen them.

How was Dean going to explain this to Michael? Oh god, he’d totally gone too far with the dancing.

The bartender really needed to hurry up with those drinks.

God knows if Cas would ever want to talk to him after tonight.

He wanted to be able to at least talk to Cas before the night ended and he figured that would require them both being very drunk.

“ **So they're definitely into each other**.”

“Yeah, either that or they are wasted beyond belief. Still, you can't fake the kind of passion they had when they looked at each other. The chemistry was _electric_.”

“Very true, though, Dean had never spoken to me about his sexuality, he's never really been one for dating because… but yeah we need to suss this situation out and get them together.” Michael knew why, but he didn't feel right telling Jack, it wasn't his place to talk about it.

“Definitely, with- they’d probably just spend the next 11 years eye-fucking and pining and not actually doing anything about it,” Jack added, he knew Cas' anxiety turned dating into a disaster for Cas.

“Right? that would be _exhausting_! We’re gonna have to help them along.”

Dean learned that Cas was a slightly chaotic drunk and that Cas got drunk very quickly.

He was also remarkably giggly and had the prettiest flush across his cheeks which glowed as he giggled. He also learned that Cas could speak fluent French, which was driving Dean insane, and that after he would drink something he would do this thing with his mouth as though he was trying to depict the flavours and it left Dean completely entranced.

His white shirt was practically see-through at this point and clung to his toned body and Dean tried *but failed* not to ogle the gorgeous barista. Even the simplest of things Cas did left him in a trance.

His feelings towards Cas scared him.

He knew he was drinking way too much, but he needed to get drunk, stop thinking, and just be in the moment with Cas- _he knew better than anyone how quickly it could all get taken away_.

Dean's hair was slightly ruffled now, paired with his stubble, and tight fit shirt, it was quite the look. Cas was enthralled by the man's beauty.

Cas could see Dean was giving him this unascertainable look. His pupils were still dilated and he seemed almost on edge.

If he wasn't so drunk Cas would've been extremely self-conscious, maybe Dean was thinking about their time on the dancefloor earlier?

He was drinking a lot, Cas had noticed, Cas was very drunk after his rounds with Jack earlier and now he'd had two more drinks with Dean and _couldn't register anything that wasn't Dean_.

Maybe he was utterly repulsed but trying to be polite and getting drunk to forget about it? But he had noticed Dean had had about four beers and was currently on drinking his second whisky, not counting the one he'd had whilst they were dancing, he didn't know whether to be impressed or worried, especially considering he would have been drinking earlier with Michael too.

Jack and Michael were sitting in the booth keeping an eye on the two whilst drunkenly scheming.

The latter, even though he was happy to see Dean smiling so genuinely, was getting concerned at the amount his best friend was drinking. Including the drinks he had had with him earlier, Dean was roughly on his 17th drink of the night, mixed with the several coffees he'd had during the day, he knew this was not going to go well, the coffees tended to block out the drowsiness alcohol caused which meant it took more drinks for Dean to feel drunk but he was sure to feel it the next day and for days after that.

He hated to be the one spoiling Dean's fun, but to Michael, his well being came first.

"Hey, guys! I was looking for you." Michael walked over, throwing an arm around Dean.

Dean gave Michael a glare of disapproval for interrupting the intense eye sex the two had been having.

"We're gonna head back, it's like 3 am and Crowley's complaining about something and he's our lift."

"Where'd the t-time go?" Cas garbled slightly.

"Time flies when you're having fun, right Dean?" Michael answered, a self-satisfied grin on his face as he looked between the two.

Dean was visibly uncomfortable, feeling exposed, almost as though Michael could read his mind.

"Cas, 'm gonna order an uber to yourss." Jack said, approaching the group.

"No, s'okay. Crowley can drop you guys too. Come with us." Dean offered, knowing Crowley would most likely be unimpressed.

"Y-you sure?" Cas asked, he didn't want to inconvenience Dean more than he already had done tonight.

"Yeah! Yeah. Wanna make sure y-you get home safe y' know. Mikey, go tell him, please? Crowley will listen to you." Dean smiled, whispering the last part at Michael drunkenly.

He couldn't say no- regardless of whether he admitted it, Dean was crushing on Cas **hard** and there was no way Michael was going to let him down on his first true experience as a wingman.

"Whatever let's go." Crowley responded to Michael, looking over at Dean and Cas suspiciously.

"Love you, Crowley." Michael teased in response.

"I know. C'mon." Crowley smirked at him, walking out.

"I call shotgun!" Michael shouted, leaving Crowley's companion slightly annoyed as he opened a door to the back seat.

Jack Sat himself in the middle seat, leaving Dean and Cas one seat to share between them.

Panic settled in as Dean realized.

"Uh, I uh-" he stumbled on his words.

Michael took the chance to fuck with Dean, a shit-eating grin plastered on his face earning a look of suspense from Crowley, as he said;

"S'okay Cas, just, just sit in his lap. Y'dont mind do ya, Dean?"

"Uh, no, not at all." It was true, Dean didn't mind, but it didn't mean he wasn't having an internal meltdown.

He was still sporting a semi from the dancing earlier and he knew this was not going to help.

Cas tried his best not to let out the scream his mind was emitting, Sitting in Dean's lap, especially after his earlier actions- oh god.

He looked at Dean carefully seeing a look of discomfort flash briefly over his expression. He really admired how polite and kind Dean was being towards him but hated the fact he was making the man uncomfortable- how was he ever going to face him again after this?

Dean was trying to think of every unsexy thing that possibly came to mind to stop thinking about the fact that Cas was literally sitting right on top of him, mere inches away from the semi he was sporting that he had caused. Cas inhaled Dean's musk, a mixture of the lingerings of coffee, sweat, and a woody aftershave- phenomenal. Trying his hardest not to look into Dean's eyes.

Jack chuckled to himself, side-eyeing the pair, Cas looked painfully agitated right now.

"Anyone else starving right now?" Jack decided the night didn't need to be over yet.

"There's a Biggersons not too far from here actually." Michael added, catching Jack's wavelength.

"Actually my place isn't too far from here, can you drop me before you go there," Crowley's companion... Fredrick??? spoke up, Michael or anyone other than Crowley hadn’t cared to remember.

"Bu-"

"Please." he insisted, he'd had enough of the group. The feeling was mutual.

"Sure." Crowley responded through gritted teeth.

The second he left the car Crowley scowled at the group.

Michael still had the same grin plastered on his face, annoying Crowley further.

He was truthfully glad the man had left, he seemed too, stuck up, even for Crowley, and Crowley had the tendency to be a snob- but in a lovable way.

"You're paying for this." He aimed at Michael, not specifying whether he was paying for the food or for Crowley not getting laid tonight, as he proceeded to drive.

Jack had scooted over after Crowley's companion had left the car, so close to laughing as he continued to observe Dean and Cas who were in their own world, Cas was still in Dean's lap, seemingly drowsy, eyelids drooping, arms around Dean's neck and Dean's eyes were transfixed on the dozing man.

Dean was truthfully lost in the ethereal beauty of the man not acknowledging there was now a seat for Cas, instead, snaking an arm around Cas’ back to make sure he didn't fall off his lap.

Their peace was soon disturbed by Michael's loud voice causing Cas to jump out of Deans lap into the spare seat. He looked around awkwardly as he felt Dean's gaze pierce through him.

"What does everyone want?" He couldn't help but grin at the pair who were still stumbling over each other, to get themselves in order.

After Michael returned with the food they all sat in the car, talking out of their asses, though they probably wouldn't remember any of it when they woke up.

Crowley had even joined in, mood lightening slightly after Michael bought him his favourite burger; "You love me really." He said, handing it to him.

"Maybe, you're an idiot anyhow," he responded, smirking whilst he rolled his eyes.

Soon after they arrived at Cas' apartment block and Jack was stumbling on the weight of himself, especially after the food.

"C'mon, I'll help you inside." Dean said to Cas.

"S'okay Dean, don't wanna- wanna bother you."

"Cas, it's fine, I offered. Plus Jack can hardly manage himself, let alone you." He said, chuckling lightly, wrapping Cas' arm over his shoulder, placing his own arm on the small of Cas' back.

Jack had gone straight to the couch and crashed.

"Where to, Cas?" Dean asked, looking around the place, it was nice, much bigger and more modern than his own.

"Just, uh, the door at t-the end of the corridor."

Cas paused for a second, turning to Dean, a small grin on his face, admiring the man, who looked back at him confused and paranoid.

"Thank yo-" he stopped short.

It was then he felt it, the violent wave of nausea causing Cas to sprint to his bathroom, Dean pursuing him closely. Cas was embarrassed beyond words, Dean walked out the bathroom mid-way as Cas threw up.

Cas knew for a fact Dean would be repulsed by him now, he was right to leave, he didn't need to see Cas throw up. He got up off the floor, rinsing his mouth with a mouthwash.

As he turned to walk out, he was startled by Dean who was standing there waiting, glass in hand.

"Sorry, I just went to get you some water, I hope you didn't mind."

Cas couldn't help but stare at the man, becoming clear-headed for a second and smiling softly, utterly endeared by the man. He really was perfect in every which way. So kind and beautiful, even making sure that he got home safe and now he was making sure he was ok after he threw up, despite the fact they didn't know much about each other and Cas was just his barista.

Cas' heart fluttered.

"Thank you, Dean." He managed to get out.

"No problem, Cas. Let's get you to bed." Dean responded Cas flushed slightly at the words, as Dean wrapped an arm around him for support.

"Deaannn 'm- sorry. i-i hope you don't hate me." Cas said, laying on the bed, clinging to Dean, his breath hot on Dean's face.

"I could never, Cas." He whispered, hovering over the man who gazed back up at him through sleepy eyes, tilting his head slightly in confusion.

Dean looked at Cas' plump lips, then back up into his tired, yet sparkling eyes completely unsure of what to do. He knew they were drunk, they probably shouldn't, but he really, really, really wanted to kiss Cas.

Luckily before he managed to do something they'd regret and make Cas hate him, the barista had fallen asleep, arms still hung loosely around Dean.

Dean looked down at the man, feeling too much all at once, gently unwrapping his arms and putting the blanket on him before heavy-heartedly turning and leaving.

He got back into the car feeling almost sobered up as the realisation hit him;

_**He had wanted to kiss Cas.** _

Not just because he was drunk, because-

"You okay, buddy?" Michael asked, snapping Dean from his thoughts.

"Yeah, yeah. Just wiped." He lied.

_No, he couldn't be feeling things for Cas._

He was just drunk.

His mind was fucking with him.

Yeah, he didn't like guys.

Hell, Dean didn't even like people!

Yeah, he was just in need of some coffee, or sleep, either or.

Cas was just the lovely barista who made amazing coffee, maybe a friend?

But **nothing more**.

Chances are Cas didn't even like him that way or didn't even like guys.

Either way, it didn't matter, because ~~Dean did not like Cas like that anyway~~.

Soon enough Crowley had dropped Michael and Dean at Dean's place. In the time it took Michael to take his jacket off, Dean had gotten in, thrown his shoes off and made a beeline for the instant coffee.

"OH! No, no, no, Dean- don't even think about that. You are going to sleep. No 'liquid-sleep' for you tonight! You'll thank me in the morning." Michael warned.

Dean wanted to be mad at him, but he knew Michael was right, plus it was the first time Michael had said something to tell him off all night which had pleasantly surprised him.

He didn't have the energy to do anything besides pee and settled on crashing, making straightaway for his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Also, what are your opinions on a bit of Michael x Crowley for this?


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heller Jensen confirmed.  
> Destiel is canon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Trigger Warning- Anxiety/Depression*
> 
> //Sorry I've not updated in a while, I have been all over the place, mostly my Tumblr...

In conclusion, Cas was never getting drunk again.

He awoke to the light stench of vomit and sweat lingering causing flashes of memories to hit him as he attempted to sit up.

Cas sat on the bed, head in his hands. His head was hammering, and he didn’t have the strength to look for aspirin.

What had made him think that drinking so much last night was a good idea? 

In all fairness, Jack had tried to warn him, but he was so damn stubborn because of his inability to get **Dean Winchester** off his mind.

 _Oh god_. 

He felt even more nauseous as a few memories came back to him from early on in the night.

As though he had felt the pounding in Cas' head, Jack walked in with a glass of water and some aspirin, “Sup cuz, I brought you some aspirin. Figured you needed it after last night. I’ve had like, 3 myself.” Jack barrelled into his room.

"How did you even know I was awake?" Cas grunted, or had he been planning on barging in and waking him up?

"It's like 3 pm I'd figured you'd be up by now and either dying from a hangover or having a meltdown courtesy of your crippling anxiety." Jack stated.

"Thanks." Cas responded sarcastically.

Truthfully it was a mix of both right now.

How was Jack so alive? Cas just wanted to take aspirin, throw up and crawl back into bed. 

In that exact order.

"You OK?" Jack asked, tone slightly more serious, looking at the man, sitting on the edge of his bed in yesterday's clothes.

"Don't ask stupid questions." He responded bluntly, his skin was itchy.

"Ok, ok! You wanna talk about it?" Jack did worry for the man but didn't want to make things worse, though he tried he wasn't great at dealing with Cas anxiety, anything he knew was from google research and he didn't know if it would help Cas so he would mostly leave Cas be unless it was really bad.

"Not now, Jack. There's some food in the fridge, PlayStation's in the corner cabinet. I'm going back to bed." His mind was going 100mph and he didn't need the third degree from Jack right now. 

"OK, shout if you need anything." Cas waved him away.

The second Jack left he breathed a sigh of relief.

He needed a shower.

He needed to wash away the shame.

It was impossible to describe the feeling of impending doom he felt in this very moment. He hated it, the feeling of losing control.

Disgrace.

Cas was a disgrace.

He ran towards his bathroom, skin burning with the need to be washed.

He felt disgusted in himself.

_What had he done?_

Usually, Cas woke up every day and made a plan for what was going to happen. He never woke up feeling relaxed. He lived in fear, not that anyone would be able to tell, or so he hoped.

When he was at work he came across as confident, walking around as though nothing bothered him, but no one saw him have that internal breakdown every day on the way to and from work, in the storage cupboard on his breaks, afraid that he'd done nothing but fuck up.

No one ever saw him not being able to sleep because of his intrusive thoughts telling him that something bad was going to happen to him or the people he cared about. Or that he would lose someone he cared about and be left all alone with no one.

He let the water hit him as he sunk to the tiled floor, struggling to breathe.

He clawed at his thighs, trying to feel something other than disgust at himself.

He'd been so busy getting drunk and lost in those emerald orbs he hadn't realised just how many people will have seen him do what he did.

**Dean**.

Dean probably hated him.

There was no way he was going into work tonight. He couldn't face himself, let alone Dean, he couldn't handle Dean judging him.

But still, he was so kind. So gentle and caring, making sure he'd gotten in safe and making sure he was OK after he'd thrown up and then putting him to bed.

_'Why are you such an idiot Cas?'_

‘He just felt sorry for you because you're so **pathetic**.’

Every doubt he'd ever had, crawled up his throat.

_Are you sure you still remember how to breathe?_

All of a sudden his throat closed up. 

He couldn't breathe.

His whole body trembled as he tried to breathe.

Closing his eyes he tried to recall what his highschool counsellor had told him to do;

_'In through your nose, out through your mouth.'_

  
  


“You can't make me!” Dean said to his mother, stomping into his trainers.

“Dean, son please, just come on.” his father asked

"No, I'm going to Michael's." Dean protested, his mother had said he could go to see Michael this weekend as he hadn't seen him throughout the holidays and wanted to play Michael’s new game with him on the newly released PS3 Superslim.

"Dean please!" Sammy pleaded, clinging to his older brother's arm.

"No." Dean shook the 9-year-old off his arm.

He was 13 now, he was tired of always having to do what Sam wanted, he wanted to go and spend time with his friends like regular teenagers instead of wasting time with his family, besides it was Sunday tomorrow and they'd be having their weekly Sunday dinner, so what if he missed out on this one outing.

"Fine, love ya, buddy." John said as Mary gave him a kiss on the cheek that Dean wiped off before heading for the door.

"Yeah." Dean looked at his family, feeling slightly guilty before shaking the guilt off as he headed out the door.

They had decided to take Mary's faulty car that day, they were going to get it fixed and then go to Sam's favourite park.

John's phone buzzed.

"Love you guys too." John read the message aloud, causing Sam's frown to lessen and Mary to smile.

"John put that thing away, the cars already faulty, watch the road."

"Yeah, let me just respon-"

"JOHN!" Mary screamed.

" _There was nothing we could've done, they swerved to avoid the other car but the brakes were unstable, the impact destroyed the car and unfortunately took the lives of the driver and both passengers._ "

Dean woke up trembling, sweat dusting his forehead.

"You okay pal?" Michael asked.

"What're you doing here?" Dean spoke, still groggy and trying to stop himself from visibly trembling in front of Michael.

"Its 9 pm, I just came to check on you." Michael lied, he knew Dean had a nightmare, he'd been murmuring his families names in his sleep and Michael could see he was shaking, though that could be caffeine withdrawal, either way, he knew not to push Dean when he was like this.

"Ah ok, I'll be out in a bit, you know where everything is." Dean waved him off.

_'Why are you like this?'_

Dean pulled his blanket over himself further, feeling sick.

He felt awful. His head ached, his throat felt insanely tight but he didn't want to alarm Michael.

 _Oh crap_ , Michael was out there which meant he couldn't just stay in bed all day.

Well, he could, but then that meant Michael would figure out he's been lying about doing better and ask questions- as much as Dean knew he meant well, he just wanted to be left alone today.

Who was he kidding? 

This wasn't Michael's fault, he was there because he cared. 

It was Dean who had the smart idea of going out, he just wanted to feel normal for once and more importantly for Michael to be able to do something he wanted for once. 

Ever since they were teenagers since his parents died Michael was always sacrificing opportunities to go out and be a normal teen, for Dean, so he didn’t feel like he was the odd one out or in an attempt to make him happy. Yet, here he was, a mess after doing one measly thing for Michael, how wonderful of you Dean.

He had to get up.

 _'Get up and have a coffee, pretend you're ok, talk to Michael._ ' he formulated the plan in his head, that didn't sound so bad.

A simple plan with minimal steps, he could do this and then when Michael went or fell asleep Dean could also go back to doing nothing.

_Coffee._

**Cas.**

Dammit.

He couldn't even think of coffee without thinking about the man anymore. Along with thoughts of the gorgeous barista, he was slapped with memories of last night.

He had almost kissed Cas.

He liked Cas.

~~No, you were just drunk.~~

Of course, he liked Cas, he was awesome- but just a friend. But nothing more. Never anything more.

More is too dangerous.

He had to get up before this consumed him and he couldn't find any will to get up at all.

"Hey."

"Man, you look exhausted."

"Feel it too."

"You want anything?" Michael asked from the cupboard where he was currently snacking on jerky.

"Coffee."

"Dean." Michael began, protesting.

"Michael, please." Dean pleaded, he just wanted a coffee.

"Fine, but you gotta eat something with it too."

"Bacon cheeseburger."

"I'll order it, but no coffee until then. Here, have this."

Dean took the glass of water and Advil, downing them.

Michael had known Dean for the longest time since they were toddlers, they had always been close, but particularly after Deans parents passed. He knew the weight Dean carried, the regret, the blame.

He couldn't help but worry about him, he'd been there through the highs and lows of Deans life, and there had been many lows, some Dean almost hadn't made it back from.

So Michael couldn't help but worry about Dean, to Michael Dean was the closest thing he had to a brother.

He wanted Dean to be happy, and last night was the closest he'd seen to that in the longest time, but the only way he could get Dean to see it was if Dean could open up about it.

"You ok, Dean?" 

"Yeah. you?" Classic Michael, now they'd eaten, here came the third degree.

"I'm fine. I wanna talk about you, humour me, how are you?"

"I don't know man. Honestly, I don't know." Dean spoke honestly, he was too tired to lie.

"Talk to me."

"Coffee first."

"Okay, let's go to that place you like."

Dean's heart sped up. "No!" Shit why'd he give himself away like that.

"You don't want coffee?" Michael eyed him with a mixture of suspicion and shock.

"I do but, uh, I have some here- not really in the mood to leave the apartment." He wasn't entirely lying, he wasn't in the mood for going anywhere, but more significantly, he wasn't ready to see Cas again yet.

After last night he didn't know what to say to him, it was all different now.

He had tried to kiss Cas.

He had tried to kiss Cas because he liked him. Everything inside him hoped Cas was too drunk to remember that _Dean had tried to kiss him._

But no, Dean couldn't like Cas, he wasn't allowed because it was bad. Besides, Cas would never like him.

No. It was bad for him, but it was especially bad for Cas.

He was knocked out of his thoughts by the aroma of coffee in the air.

A concerned Michael handed Dean the mug, he noted Dean had been spaced out for the whole 5 minutes it had taken for Michael to sort the drinks, he knew Dean needed help, he just hoped he would take it.

"Here, let's talk."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is appreciated. Thank You for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess whos not coping...

**_Why did it feel like his whole life was in tatters?_ **

Should he call in sick _or just quit?_

He could always make use of his degree in Modern Languages and temporarily do a related job… 

Either way, _he couldn't go back to work again._

But he had to, it’s not like he was broke but he wasn't exactly rolling in it either. And it’s not like he had enough saved up to start his own thing and he needed to make sure he had another job secured before he could even think of making such a move.

But what if Dean showed up?

 **No**. There's no way Dean would want to see him now, he'd probably start going when he knew Cas wasn't working.

Yes, then it would be OK. 

_He wouldn't have to see Dean again._

**_Why did the thought make his heart hurt like that?_ **

Dean had to drag himself into work that Monday evening. 

Luckily [for his attendance] after their chat- which Dean managed to steer away from Cas, Michael had stayed over meaning he woke Dean up the next morning for University so his attendance didn't plummet.

Uni had been enough to make his head hurt that day and his lecturer had given two new assignments which were due in a few weeks, between that and his love life he felt like his head was about to implode.

_" Monday's **suck** _." He said, clocking in.

"Nice to see you too, Dean." Bobby replied.

"Where's Michael?" 

"Don't worry, I have your coffee right here, _your highness_."

"Should think so. _Nah_ , thanks." Dean thanked Michael, taking the beverage.

"You need to stop drinking so much of that, boy. I'm surprised you don't jitter like a failing U-joint."

"Oh haha, Bobby. What's on the list today?"

"It’s pretty quiet, mostly paperwork." Bobby said, pointing towards the desk.

"This mean we get to clock off early?" Michael questioned a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

"Depends on how long it takes your dumbass gets that full service and MOT done on that pile of _junk_." Bobby said.

"I call **2 hours,** tops."

"Nah, if it was me, **yes,** but you? **_3 hours_**." Dean challenged, smirking at Michael.

"Is that a bet, Winchester?" 

"Yes."

"Winner buys coffee." Michael said, perfect opportunity to get Dean to see Cas again. 

He knew Dean was avoiding the Barista and this needed to be nipped in the bud before it impacted Dean on a deeper level.

"I need to head out for a bit, I'll be back in an hour or so, try not to burn the place down." Bobby said to the two, chuckling as he walked out.

  
  


He stared at the clock on the wall, the hand seemed to move slower by the second.

**How was it only 11:01 PM?**

Why hadn't he called in sick?

_Because you don't want to lose your job, you idiot._

Besides, he liked his job, for the most part, **he just needed to focus on that.**

"Oh by the way Cas, those cookies you baked on Friday were a hit, could you bake some more tonight?" His supervisor asked him as she ran around collecting her things, getting ready to leave.

"That's fine, I'm glad they went down well." Cas smiled at the compliment, beginning to gather the ingredients. 

~~His secret was a drop of honey in the centre to make them extra chewy.~~

**_Maybe he wasn't a complete and utter failure after all…_ **

  
  


" _2 hours 11 minutes._ **_Suck it, Winchester._ **" Michael said, throwing the greased up towel on Dean's face.

"That's still over 2 hours." He stated, wiping the grease from his face, only smearing it further.

"Fine let's ask Bobby." Michael said, like a child.

"Go home will ya, _idjits_." Bobby said.

"Who won though?"

"You did. Now leave, I want to go and have a beer and sleep thank you."

"Sure you're not just missing Jody?" Michael teased the man who sighed at him, exasperated but was unable to hold up his resolve as he ended up smiling.

"See ya boys!”

"Bye bobby!”

"Oh **Dean** , are you still bringing that car in to be fixed? The garage is quiet at the moment so if you wanted to get started on it, this week would be a good opportunity."

Cas’ car. 

_Crap_. 

He couldn't **not** fix it. 

Cas would think he was a flake, or worse, **a liar.**

"Yeah, sure Bobby, see ya."

  
  


"To Les Paradis, we go mi amigo." Michael said as they sat in Dean's car.

"I thought you condemn coffee after midnight?" Dean pointed out, he really wasn't ready to see Cas yet, _what would he even say to him?_

What if Cas thought he was a total weirdo and didn't want to see him?

"I thought you loved ignoring me on that?" Michael said, adding;

"Anyone would think you were trying to **avoid** the coffee shop."

"Wh-what? No! Why would I be avoiding a coffee shop?" Dean feigned outrage at the statement.

"I don't know Dean. _You tell me._ "

"Shut up, let's just go." He replied, checking himself in the mirror not so subtly.

**_Oh god._ **

Cas listened in fear.

_That rumble._

~~No way.~~

Dean felt a hollow pit in his stomach. 

Maybe he could just give Michael the cash and he could just stay in the car?

No way, Michael would ask too many questions and he couldn't let Michael suspect more than he already did.

_Besides, quickly in, quickly out._

  
  


"Hi, Cas!" Michael spoke up, Dean walked in after, staring at Cas as though he was some gorgeous foreign object he was seeing for the first time.

"Hello Michael, Dean." He smiled at them both.

"Hey, Cas." Dean responded, he felt nervous for once, he needed to stop overthinking or Cas really would end up hating him.

"It was great hanging out the other night, we should do it again sometime! _Right?"_

"Uh yeah, yeah." Dean started, _no he needed to stop being like this,_ do something!

"The dancing was great, **_and everything after that_ **…" Dean said, eyes boring into Cas'

That's more like it, Winchester.

Cas blushed furiously.

**Does this mean Dean didn't hate him?**

~~_The timer started going off._ ~~

**Dean enjoyed the dancing…**

~~_He opened the oven door._ ~~

**And everything after…** **_he’d spent the rest of the night drinking with him and talking and-_**

Dean's eyes flew open wide with alarm, shouting; "Cas! Gloves!"

Cas looked at him startled by him raising his voice.

"Oh! _Thanks_."

Dean was too distracting.

~~_WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID?_ ~~

"No worries man, can't have those precious hands of yours getting burnt."

Cas looked over at him strangely as he set the baking trays down.

_Did he have a thing for hands?_

Even Michael gave him a questioning look, to which he added;

 _" What?_ They bake and most importantly, **they make my favourite coffee**." That and the fact that they were Cas' hands made them very important indeed.

Cas blushed at the fact that the coffee he made was Dean's favourite.

_Michael was smiling to himself, **he was right there but to Dean and Cas, the only thing they could see was each other,** it was ~~sickening~~ **adorable**. _

"What did you bake?" He asked.

" _Cookies_." He said placing the trays on a cooling rack.

"You can try some when they cool down." he added, after seeing Deans eyes light up.

It then hit Cas, he hadn't even asked for their orders. 

~~**_WHAT ARE YOU DOING CAS?_ ** ~~

_" Oh gosh_ , I'm so sorry. I totally forgot, what would you like?" He asked, Michael.

"A mocha, anything stronger at this hour will have me up all night."

 _" Lightweight_." Dean mocked, Michael lightly punched his arm in response.

"And Dean, a double-shot black coffee?”

"You know it, _buddy_." Dean smiled, though it was simple, he loved the fact Cas knew his order.

"I'm impressed, _he even knows your order_. How often do you come here, dude?" Michael chuckled, adding "Oh and change that to a single shot, he has uni tomorrow morning and he needs sleep." In a more serious tone.

~~_Dean came here often enough to know Cas didn't work Thursday nights one week, and Saturdays the next- his shift always started at 11 pm and ended at 6 am, but Cas would stay till 6.30 to help with the morning rush, despite never being paid overtime for it._ ~~

"Dude-" Dean protested.

"What? **_Dude_ **?" Michael sassed.

_As Cas busied himself with the coffee's, Michael tapped away at his phone whilst subtly watching Dean admire the barista through the corner of his eye._

_**To Jack:** I have a plan. _

"OK, one Mocha for you Michael, and single-shot black coffee for you, Dean." He handed over the beverages, feeling brave he asked again, "Would you like to try the cookies? They're not too hot anymore…" 

"Oh yeah, thanks Cas." Dean said, excitedly, he remembered about how Cas had mentioned baking was a speciality of his, it made him all the more excited to try the cookies, not just because it was Cas.

"Oh my god, **these are... phenomenal** . They're almost better than the ones-" Dean paused for a moment, he couldn't do this in front of Cas, ~~save your breakdown for the car Dean~~ ,

" _my mom used to make."_

Michael looked at Dean, worried. 

Dean rarely spoke about his parents, it was an unspoken rule, unless he was drunk or bought it up first, you don't talk about his family.

He was surprised at how well he was holding it together, _just how much did he like Cas?_

_He just prayed Cas didn't ask questions._

"These are really good Cas." Michael spoke up, realising Dean had spaced out and _he didn't want Cas to notice something was wrong._

"Thank you, um- I can give you some to take with you if you'd like?" He directed at Dean.

"Yeah, yeah that would be great. _Thank you._ " He responded, having just about caught Cas' point.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, comments/feedback is appreciated!!


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